Beauty and the Beast Hm Style!
by ChaosGuardian-CG
Summary: I have forced the HM:MFOM into doing a play! Read for laughs, pairing already decided main pairing GrayxClaireJill, with hints of others. This not a musical play though!
1. Chapter 1

Chaos-G: (waltzes into a dark area, she has short black hair with dark violet streaks to her neck, wore baggy jeans with a hole on the left knee and holes around the ankles, black converses, a black T-shirt that said in green 'I put the 'fun' back in funeral.', a long sleeve shirt underneath that had black and grey stripes, a watch on her right wrist, silver dream-catcher necklace, crescent glasses over her grey/green eyes, and she carries a black lab-top under her shoulder) This looks like a good place… (Sits down and takes out lab-top and begins typing, scenery begins to fill into a stage with props and the Harvest Moon: More Friends of Mineral Town cast appear.)

Jack; (looks around as helps up his sister, Claire ((the blonde girl farmer you play in this game))) Uh… What's going on?

Karen: Someone kidnapped us for another fanfic didn't they?

Chaos-G: Yes! Me! Now you're all helping me with this play. We're putting on Beauty and the Beast!

Ann: Why should we help you!?

Chaos-g: Because I'm the authoress and I command it! Prologue start! (The cast will be given out with the story). I also own none of this!

It was a dark and stormy night, the rain was beating down and you could barely see two feet in front of you if you were out there. Animals took shelter under the forest to lessen the harsh raindrops. In the middle of the forest a giant castle loomed, looking foreboding in the dark, rain, and lightning.

"Sheesh, you'd think this is a horror film or something…" Cliff the butler mumbled looking out the window at the storm with his chocolate brown eyes.

"WHERE IS MY DINNER?!" An enraged echoed throughout the various halls of the castle. Cliff winced at the volume and dashed toward the kitchen, as he was about to open the door, it slammed into him.

Ann stuck her head out and nervously nibbled her fingernails, "Oh crap, Master Gray sounds mad…" She heard a moan and looked on the other side of the door and noticed a swirly-eyed Cliff on the floor his face smashed and a bump from hitting the wall behind him.

"Oh my- C-C-Cliff I'm so sorry," Ann stammered helping the butler stand and straitening his clothes. His response was incoherent but a blush stained his face as he saw the maid uniform she wore.

It was a light blue dress that came to mid thigh, with poofy sleeves, a longer white apron, and Ann wore short white socks to cover her knees. She was straitening his collar, not noticing his mumbled excuses.

"Um, Cliff could you do me a favor?" Ann asked turning hopeful eyes to him.

"Sure, what is it?" Ann mad a quick dash to the kitchen and came back with a silver tray covered with many delectable foods.

"Could you bring this to the master? I'm kinda scared to be around him like this…" Ann apologized only to receive a small pat on her head. She looked up to Cliff smiling down on her and her blush darkened. He continued smiling and took the tray.

"What the hell is with the hold up?!" A frantic voice approached, the two as an out of breath Rick came down the hall in an outfit similar to Cliffs (kinda like a tux).

"The master is very impatient and our asses are grass if we don't-"

"WHERE THE BLINKING HELL IS MY DINNER!' The voice from before roared again this time louder and caused Ann to jump behind Cliff as the two boys flinched.

Frantically they scurried to the source of the yell and Rick opened the door for Cliff, who walked in, trying to settle his nerves. The hall was richly decorated and had a huge table with many chairs, only one being occupied at the end of the table.

Cliff walked all the way down and set the tray at the head of the table. Backing away as he did so and not making eye contact with the master. Gray narrowed his ocean eyes at the setting before him, he wore a rich tan tunic, navy pants he tucked into black calf high boots. The shirt had a small opening showing the top of a fined-tone chest; he wore no jewelry, but on his head laid perfectly combed fiery red hair that had his-UMA hat? What the hell?!

(Chaos-G: What the?! Why is he wearing his hat? It does not clash with his obnoxious prince outfit!

Karen: He refused to do this unless he was allowed to wear his hat. He even went so far as locking and barricading his door of his dressing room if we didn't let him do it.

Chaos-G: Fine, but I will get him back for this…)

Gray's cold eyes looked over the food before he swiped it off the table with flourish and his eyes settled on Cliff.

"What is this fifth? Are you all trying to poison me?" He accused his eyes narrowing, the door to the dining all was opened a crack and Rick and Ann shivered worried about their friend/boyfriend.

"Uh, no Master. You didn't tell us what you wante-"

"WELL MAYBE NEXT TIME YOU SHOULD ASK WHAT I WANT BEFORE I GET HUNGRY!? DID YOU EVER THINK OF THAT?" Gray would have continued his yelling but a knock from the front door echoed around the halls. With a last glare at Cliff he stood up and went to take his aggressions out on the knocker. Cliff was frozen as Rick sighed that Cliff wasn't murdered and Ann cried and glomped him.

Gray threw the door open and saw a small huddled form in the rain, "WHAT?" he barked.

"Sir, may I please take shelter here?" A voice queried from the bundle.

"NO! I have enough people I despise here as it is!"

"Where are your manners? Kids no respect these days-"

"Do your ears fail you? I said no, be gone, you hag!"

"Quit your whining lad, I can give payment, I have this. And don't call me old or ugly or I'll kill you!" The figure held out a red rose.

"I detest flowers, and won't stand for threats, leave!" Gray yelled before he slammed shut.

"Oh you snot bastard kid! I gave you three chances and you blew every one!" The figured yelled as she threw off the cloak to reveal…The Harvest Goddess! The doors flew open before her as she advanced on the shocked Gray.

"You damned ignorant little brat-"

"Hey you're a divine being you shouldn't swear!"

"I can swear as much as I damn well please! Who do you think gave you swear words, kid!" That being yelled the Harvest Goddess bitch-slapped Gray into the wall.

"Now since you're a prick and I hate you. I curse you and every being in this household," At this every servant eavesdropping slapped their hands to their foreheads at the idiocy of their master. "I curse you until you're 21st birthday-"

"Why? I'm 18 right now."

"Shut up unless you want me to make it shorter!" the goddess yelled slapping him again. "You have until that birthday and until every last petal on this rose dies to find love and be loved in returned or be cursed until your dieing day." She said slamming the rose into his open palm.

"Man you can be a real cold bitch, you know?"

"SHUT THE HELL UP OR I'LL MAKE THIS WORSE BY MAKING THIS WHOLE CASTLE FULL OF HAPPY FROLICKING MUSIC THAT'LL NEVER END AND DRIVE EVERYONE UP THE WALL!"

The gasps of the eavesdroppers were heard along with Grays, "you're not serious are you?"

"DAMN RIGHT I AM!" The goddess yelled one more time as the doors flew open, hitting her in the back. "Shit!" She cursed rubbing her bum as she stormed out.

As soon as she left, the castle grey dark, shrieks were heard as the residents transformed, Grays eyes were wide as he clutched the cursed rose in his hand and he himself began t o change, "I've damned us all…OW! Frick the damn thorns just made me cut myself! I'm not a damn emo!"

Chaos-G: Huh, could've fooled me (referring to Gray's last comment). That's it for the beginning, more humor, romance, and fun story telling approaches. I apologize in advance for bad spelling and grammer. Please review!


	2. Chapter 2

Chaos-G: Hello and welcome back! Today we get to introduce our lovely heroine- 

Claire: Me! (Blushes while pointing to herself)

Chaos-G: Right! Along with a few not as important people.

Jack: Hey what about me?

Claire: Don't worry otouto (big brother in Japanese) I still love you!

Chaos-G: And lucky you, you also get to do the disclaimer. Hop to it farmer-boy!

Jack: We aren't owned by Chaos-Guardian or she wouldn't be doing this to us as torture.

Chaos-G: (takes a mallet out of nowhere and hits Jack) Whoops, clumsy, stupid me… On with the show!

Claire walked out of the small house she shared with her brother, and it was a bit after 9 and she had already taken care of the animals on their small Harvest Moon farm (A/U: It's unoriginal so sue me, but why else would they name the series that?). Her brother Jack wasn't due to get out of the basement for awhile yet, still tinkering away to his heart's content. The twins had moved in shortly after their grandpa had passed away and had a successful job at it. Claire taking care of animals and Jack took care of the field and crops. Hopefully Jack wouldn't blow up anything this time.

Despite the fact the two were fraternal twins they were very different. Claire had blue eyes and long blonde air about an inch past her shoulders she always kept down, and wore a normal red plaited shirt, sleeves rolled up at her elbows, a white under shirt, that had long sleeves hat she kept long, loose comfortable pants (she stole from her brother and since they were too big she rolled up the bottoms), and brown work boots. Claire was also the outgoing twin, she also had a quick temper to get into anyone's face and was seen as nice, but rather rude at times kid.

Jack unlike his sister had short brown hair and brown eyes, his hair was always tucked away into his cap except for a few strands that snuck out, and he wore a red bandana around his neck, a long white shirt he had rolled to his sleeves, white gloves, navy overalls, black boots, and a knapsack on his back. Jack was the quieter and kind, twin, seemingly popping out of nowhere to calm his sister whenever she was mad.

Claire was currently in a good mood (which was good for everyone around) and was currently off to see Mary in town. Claire liked the timid librarian and thought it was sorta cute Mary had a crush on her twin (A/U: Its ok if you don't like the pairing but I thought it might work well to give Claire a reason to like books and stuff like Belle did in the movie. Sorry if you don't like it…That is all.)

"Hey Mary!" Claire yelled kicking the door opening to the library and jumping in, "I'm here and I bring books and good news!"

"SSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" Everyone else in the library told her before giving a quick glare, and going back to their novels. Claire retaliated by sticking her tongue out before flicking them off.

Mary peaked out from behind some bookshelf and smiled when she saw her friend. She waved to Claire to go outside the library, knowing Claire never bothered to keep her voice down. She sweatdropped seeing the blonde… (Cough) distracted and not seeing the movement. So she walked behind and gently pushed Claire out, as she continued making rude gestures and faces at the readers, who weren't even paying attention.

"Hey Claire, need anything?" Mary asked in her small voice as one hand fiddled with her glasses and the other with the end of her sweater-vest (yeah she's wearing her same old clothes).

"Yeah I want to return these to you," Claire said finally stopping the faces she was making and handed a stack of books for Mary that she took out of her own knapsack she stole from Jack.

"By the way Jack loved that book on inventions you lent him." Claire grinned seeing the blush on Mary's face, "He's thinking of making more machines to make butter and stuff for our farm."

"A-Anything to help…" Mary mumbled as her face grew brighter red as Claire's grin grew bigger.

"Hello my lovely ladies!" A new deeper voice greeted. Automatically Mary's face was normal and she hid behind Claire, who narrowed her eyes at the arrival. Claire also was a bit feminist and fated flirts and players, did I forget to mention that? Silly, stupid authoress…

Kai then came waltzing over, a huge grin on his face, "Sorry I haven't been around lately. How are my favorite girls doing?"

"Gee, I don't know," Claire said feigning innocence, "Why don't you go look by the Poultry farm? Where there is someone there who might fit that description."

"Ah, ah, temper, temper, cutie." Kai smirked.

((Jack: YOU STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM MY SISTER YOU CREEP!

Chaos-G: (restraining Jack) Uh-oh, brother protective instincts kicking in, someone help.

Karen: Hey be happy it isn't Gray, if he saw this he'd be foaming at the mouth.

Chaos-G: True, wait a minute- someone get Jack ready he's coming in soon! (pushes Jack away as Gray walks over) Oh shitake mushrooms… (sweatdrops)

Gray: Hey what's going o- (sees Claire and Kai's scene) WHAT THE BLOODY 13 HELLS IS HE DOING!? I'M GONNA RIP OUT HIS- (gets restrained by Chaos-G and Zack)

Chaos-G: Get him out of here until next chapter!

Zack: Got it! (grins as he tosses the swearing Gray over his shoulder and dashes out) ))

An anime vein appeared on Claire's head as she smacked Kai. "Don't call me that or I kick might you right where the sun doesn't shine!" She turned to Mary, "Sorry but I better go before I do something I might later regret, like 1st degree murder." Mary nodded before dashing back to the library and slamming the door.

Claire began walking away, but not before kicking Kai in the shin and stomping on his foot on purpose to give him the message. She them jogged back to her farm never looking behind her.

When she arrived she saw her twin burst through the door to their house, screaming, "I did it! I invented something actually useful! That I can get rich off of! YES!!!!!!!!!!"

"Jack please tell me you didn't break anything again in the process of this that could get you thrown in jail." Claire groaned rubbing her forehead.

"Sister-dearest you're confusing yourself with me. I've had to restrain you from your homicidal rage when you saw Won."

"That man is a thieving con-artist and you know it!" Claire defended.

"Be that as it may he, does have his uses. But I finally invented a machine to turn milk into… pudding!" (A/U: Don't ask it's a random thought, just don't ask.)

"Now I must go and mass market this so we get money to found more of our housing and to rebuild some irrigation canals." Jack continued, hooking up their chestnut stallion, Chase, to wagon that held a big lumpy, shape under a tarp.

"I'll be back in about three days, there's plenty of pudding in the fridge, along with a few other things. Also if anyone asks I left town to see the world quick-"

"See the world in only three days?" Claire argued.

"I said, quickly. Now I leave you!" Jack said kissing his twin on the cheek 'good bye' and jumped on the wagon as he began heading towards the woods, "Also if Mary calls for me I miss her and I can't wait to see her again!"

Claire rolled her eyes at her brother but waved to him, "Good luck, if you do get rich, don't waste the money on gambling or horseracing bets, and try not to get mugged!" She called before going inside their small house to play with their dog, Bo.

Chaos-G: Yeah that's about it. I figured Kai would be a good Gaston for this, all the fans out there probably want to kill me now. Sorry, also I'm happy I got to add in more Harvest Moon elements here. Also please review! Also sorry if it wasn't as funny as last chapter, it will when Jack meets Gray though!

Jack and Gray: (in a corner conspiring to kill Kai.)


	3. Chapter 3

Chaos-G: Hello again in this, brother meets soon to be brother-in-law and a wedding scene in the chapter after this!

Kai: (wearing a tux) Yes my plans are moving along flawlessly! MUWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Chaos-G: (stares at Kai before slapping him upside the head) Never do that again. You may be the villain in this story but I won't tolerate any kind of evil laugh, guffaw, and or chuckle. And besides you're a chapter ahead there, bucko.

Kai: (sits looking dejected and dwindling his thumbs) Yes Ma'am. (takes out script to look at it)

Jack: (pops out of nowhere) now Gray! While he's distracted! ( charges at Kai with his farmer's scythe)

Gray: Right! ( joins Jack while carrying his own mallet)

Kai: You're the author/director! Save me! ( ducks behind Chaos-G)

Chaos-G: (does nothing but stare at Jack and Gray as they begin chasing Kai in circles)… Hey wait a minute you two need to get in costuming! Someone get me Zack!

Karen: ( pops up wearing a soldier's uniform and salute) : Yes, author-commander, ma'am! (takes out a whistle and blows)

Zack: ( comes running over) What?

Chaos-G: (points to the three stooges-er, lead characters) Get them into costuming without them killing the scrawny one!

Kai: I'm not scrawny!

Zack: (salutes) Got it! (grabs all the boys and dashes out)

Chaos-G: Now that they are momentarily subdued… ( smiles over at Karen) Do the disclaimer please.

Karen: Chaos-Guardian doesn't own Harvest Moon because Natsume would send assassins after her if she claimed it.

Chaos-G: (has shifty eyes) And they'd do it too…

Jack huddled under his coat as he walked along Chase. He mentally berated himself for not looking at the weather forecast and maybe then he wouldn't be caught in this damn thunder storm! Nothing has been this bad since he tried to cheat his way out of not paying the electric bills and he decided to find a way to harness lightning. Nothing really to say other than Claire had to help him out with his chores for a month while also pushing him all the way to the clinic, where'd she'd gossip with Elli and tried to ignore Jack's cries of agony. Yeah Jack hated doctors, it wasn't Tim's fault though (A/U: I think the doctor's name is Tim either that or it's Alex from the Magical Melody game), no it was his crack pot doctor who made poor little Jack get the cow pox instead of an antibiotic for the common cold. Three guesses what you'd rather have, eh?

While Jack was contemplating his very bad medical history, poor Chase had to keep reminding his master to keep moving or else they'd probably get stuck in a rut. Also Chase was worried, he heard the howls of the wild dogs at night and knew they could come any moment. Such a smart horse, isn't he? Anyway, stuck in woods plus in a thunderstorm multiply in untold dangers, and then maybe factor in not the brightest human in the world with you, well…. Let's just say his fear is just.

Speaking of fears, what was that? The bushes were rustling and light padding was heard as Jack broke out of his reverie and stood close to Chase.

'Of all the days I have nothing with me to hit something with.' Jack thought nervously, well there's only so many options he had:

Continue on and be found dead in the morning. No thanks.

Fight off them off and maybe live? No Jack likes his limbs where they are.

Ride the horse out but leave behind the machine…Ah, he could build another anyways.

Decision reached, Jack quickly began un-harnessing Chase as growls were heard making the stallion prance in place nervously. Jack then quickly jumped on and Chase dashed forward wanting to get out as soon as possible. Both males never bothered to look behind as howls were heard through the night air. Rain pelted down harder as they ran, not even bothering guess where, that is until Jack dared to look behind to se their foes, only to have branch hit him on the back of the head and fall off of his horse.

"Ow… What's the use of having the fastest horse, when I can't even stay on his back?" Jack whined before he heard a familiar howl. "Oh right bad doggies, gotta go!" He said before getting to his feet and dashing forth- ah, who were we kidding? He took off screaming his lungs out that the boogeyman would finally catch him after all the failed attempts that happened to him in his youth… He acts really out of character when he thinks no ones watching! It's so funny!

He continued his little tirade until he smack into a metal pole.

"Ok, what kid of dumb idiot leaves a pole in the middle of a forest?" Jack yelled (A/N: The guy who wrote the chronicles of Narnia would.) and looked up. To see that the pole was part of the gate that covered an entire castle. Jack was in awe of the place for a whole six seconds.

"Halleluiah! I'm saved!" He yelled before running, locking the gate behind him, and making faces at the dogs on the other side… until one bit the heel of his boot and then he began running around yelling he was going to be eaten until he ran into the castle and immediately locked the door.

"Hello?" Jack called into the darkness. A few thumps were heard, a bit of whimpering and a low growl. A figure loomed over Jack as he gulped and looked up nervously at the cold, calculating, sapphire eyes.

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT!" A pissed voice growled at Jack.

"Uh Goddess, man! Halitosis!" Jack Gagged as the figure grew an anger vein mark and threw Jack into a wall.

"Ugh, what's your problem?" Jack gasped attempting to breath and feel a way to get out of the thing's vice-grip.

"My problem is I'm stuck in this place, I'm going out of my mind! You'll leave now mortal!"

"Maybe I can help!" Jack yelled as a last ditch effort.

"Oh you can love me before I turn 21?" The thing snarled at him.

Jack stared at it as if it was insane," Dude! I don't swing that way!"

His response was another smack against the wall.

"Enough of this, since you're no use to me I'll leave you to rot." The thing snarled as he began to drag Jack by the collar of his shirt.

The last coherent thought before Jack passed out was 'I hope Claire can go find Chase.'

Back at the Farm…..

Clair looked up from her movie as she looked out the window. Jack had been gone only a day but she was worried with the abrupt change in weather.

"What am I thinking? Knowing Jack he's probably too excited to even sleep." She murmured thinking about his joy over the invention.

Chaos-G: So another chapter ends, please review! Also I know in the movie Belle's dad met the castle folk, but I'm saving their meeting for next chapter.


End file.
